St Barnabas Church Website

My husband and I thought our dating days were over when we got married. So we were surprised to find ourselves back in the dating game when we joined The Marriage Course – dating each other, that is. Every Wednesday evening for seven weeks, we left home together to spend an evening in each other’s company, and during the following week we consciously set aside time to spend together. Along the way, we discovered much more about ourselves and each other, and learned how to make the most of our marriage.

We went along to The Marriage Course simply because we were curious, as two people who had met and married rather later in life than usual, to learn what we could do to strengthen our relationship and learn to live together well. We felt no need for formal counselling, and certainly didn’t want to get involved in an encounter group situation, sharing our private world with strangers.

Turning up to The Marriage Course on the very first night was the first, and only hard part. We were anxious about what we might be getting involved in, and what might be required of us. But our hosts were genuinely welcoming, and a table groaning with cakes and desserts to launch the evening was a most effective sweetener.

From there, we chose a table for two and turned our attention to a giant screen on which The Marriage Course was presented. Mostly we watched and listened as Nicky and Sila Lee, an engaging British couple who’ve been married for more than 20 years, guided us through each evening’s session: building strong foundations, the art of communication, resolving conflict, ways of expressing love, the power of forgiveness, parents and in-laws, and finally, good sex. With lots of humour and humanity, they talked about their own and others’ experiences within marriage, and challenges met and overcome.

From time to time through the course of the evening, the screening would be paused and background music played, to allow us to privately explore some of the ideas that had been presented as they related to our own marriage. We each had a small manual to refer to and record our thoughts in.

Apart from a little social conversation at the start of each evening, we were left entirely on our own and were free to take from each session what we chose. Though sometimes involving something of a mental and/or emotional workout the evenings were a pleasure, something we came to look forward to each week. At the end of the session, homework would be given in the form of activities to undertake together, along with the instruction to be sure to have our “marriage time” – at least two hours during the week spent together.

The course is as well suited to those planning to get married as it is to those who’ve been together for years. It’s not especially geared towards those whose marriage is in strife – it has plenty to offer couples who’re happily married, as well as to those want to safeguard their marriage against failure.

The Marriage Course was started more than ten years ago, and is presented at Mana once or twice each year. The cost to attend is minimal, but the benefits may prove invaluable.